You love him, both of you have the same feelings. You like to be with him and feel comfortable to chat with him, and he also feels the same way. You like to tease and make some jokes with him. You always try to come up with the best fashion when having lunch with him, or hang out together at coffee shop. You often send messages to him just to ask what he is doing now.

‘But the problem is, he is not your husband’, and your husband doesn’t know about this man, whether he is your ex-boyfriend in college, facebook friend, or your colleague at the office. Everything starts from unpredictable meeting and warm chat as a friend, and finally it continue to be an affair.

Even though you are not physically involved with this man, but you have emotionally involved with him. Make no mistake, emotional relationship could be long lasting rather than physical relationships. According to Peggy Vuaghan, the author of Monogamy Myth, the emotional affair is a form where you have an emotional relationship with the opposite sex that you hide his existence from your couple.

Affair is a form of betrayal against someone even without sex involvement. Affair occurs when there is physical and emotional relationship between two persons, and there are times and attentions are given to the opposite sex who is not your spouse. But what makes it a problem, there’s no sexual involvement in it?
A marriage will be tarnished by a third person. Most people are able to recover from emotional affair, but a lie that you have done to your couple won’t be forgotten. Maybe your husband can forgive you, but certainly he will still remember your lies. Can you imagine what it would be if a marriage without trust?
On the other hand, you will ruin the friendship because you do many things together with him rather than with your other friends.

The temptation to call this ‘other man’ is also big, because some social networking sites will allow you to track him down. When you imagine your ex-boyfriend, you can simply find him through virtual world. You can click on facebook, twitter, or Friendster. Relationship through virtual world will be faster, more intense, and easier.

According to Jessica Leroy, the founder and director of the Center for Psychology for Women, people who are emotionally involved in affair often don’t feel guilty to their spouse. It understandably, because there is no physical or sexual relationship between those two persons, so they consider it as an ordinary friendship.

So is it the end of your marriage? Probably it’s not. But if you have created a strong emotional connection with another person, with or without sex, your spouse will be hurt. The Settlement will be more difficult when the relationship grows further.

So what is the solution? Step back slowly, don’t be too close to him just like before, you don’t need to answer all of his sms, email, or phone call. You should realize that you can’t have intense relationship with him because you have already had spouse. The deeper your have emotional relationship with him, the more difficult for you to stay away from him, so you should end it immediately.

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According to Dr. Doug Weiss, the president of American Association for Sex Addiction Therapy, and also the founder of counseling site; SexAddict.com, there are 6 types of cheating men. Do you like to know? Check these following things:

1. The hunter
He is smart, successful, and good communicator. He sparks sexual energy or certain narcissistic that can attract women. He is usually looking for someone who vulnerable, loner, or someone who also addicted to sex so he can enjoy quickie sex. He has clear pickup lines to trap his victims. But he won’t seek a woman who also a hunter, because she has opportunity to hurt him. The example of this type is Tiger Woods, according to Dr. Weiss, Tiger Woods looks for a certain type of woman; young, beautiful, slim, and willing to do anything for him. The victims are not a millionaire, not sport star, or actress, none of these women who have power. The point is they are not a threat.

2. The hero
This type of cheater usually pretends to help the victims who are experiencing difficulties. He will approach his victims while pretending to be a good listener for the victim’s problem. Of course the victims will feel appreciated and understood, and in short time the victims will trust this hero. This hero will accept the trust with open arms, because it means that he gets the opportunity to get closer to the victims. Even after he is able to ‘conquer’ the women, he still gets a label of ‘nice guy’. This hero likes to hear women adoring him.

3. The victim
This type of cheater is the opposite of the hero type. He plays as the victim. He will moan to the women that he never been noticed and appreciated by his wife, or his couple doesn’t want to have sex with him. This man pretends to look for someone who can help him out of the problem. He will make his victims feel pity on his problem; actually this is the way how he traps his victims. This type of man likes to manipulate women through compassion, he always complains that he is unhappy with his marriage, and this effort will convince the women to sleep with him.

4. The opportunist
This type of cheater doesn’t have certain target; he can accept someone who is 20 years younger or older, fat or thin, rich or poor etc. He feels happy to be wanted and desired by any woman, so he will accept enthusiastically every woman who wants him. He doesn’t care about the victim’s appearance or about her background; as long as there is a chance, he will get it. The opportunist type is looking for woman in any conditions.

5. The professional
This is typical of cheater in general. This type is not looking for love, he doesn’t care with the victim’s needs and desire, or he will not care about what the victim thinks about him. Because actually he has a normal life, he has a good wife, sweet kids, and a settle job. But he can become ‘a naughty boy’ when he wants it, therefore he tries to hide all the proofs from his action. His principle is “If no one knows, no one will be hurt.”

6. The worshiper
This is the most specific cheater. He just wants a certain type of woman that rarely can be found. Even he dares to take a risk to get closer to the woman that he wants. He can divide his heart, and he feels that he has a right to cheat his couple. This man makes an affair to satisfy the urge of certain type of woman. The criteria can be the ethnic, size, or whatever that he can’t find in his partner.

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