Archive for the ‘Women’ category

Surely you wish if a first date can run smoothly, but unfortunately not all men could behave well in the first date, such as these following things:

1. Continuously talks about his ex girlfriend
For the first date he invites you for having a dinner, but only five minutes you are sitting at the restaurant, he starts to talk about his ex girlfriend. Such as “Do you know, this restaurant was our favorite place for dinner”, or maybe he tells about how he broke up from his ex or how he felt disappointed on her etc.
If he talks about his ex over and over again, and even he mentions her name for several times, it indicates that he hasn’t finished his problem with his ex, and he approaches you just to forget his hurt because of the previous relationship.

2. Calling, sending sms, playing with his Blackberry
You wish if the first date can be a good start of better communication with him, but in the middle of conversation, he always asks for time to answer the phone, reply the sms, or even open email from his blackberry.
If he is a doctor and the message is an emergency message from the hospital, maybe you can understand him, but if the message is coming from another woman, it’s a signal that he can’t appreciate your presence beside him.

3. Ask your name for many times
If he forgets your name once or twice, it’s still reasonable, maybe it’s because you didn’t say your name clearly. But if he asks your name over and over again, or even he calls you with the name of another woman, it’s not cool at all; he’s probably dating several women at the same time.

4. Staring at another woman
If he looks at another woman just for a few seconds, it’s still normal; woman sometimes also likes to look at other man who’s passing in front of her.
But if he looks at that woman from head to toe for long time without blinking and even he does that repeatedly, apparently this man has difficulty to be faithful to one woman.

5. Staring at other man
If you catch him looking at another man deeply, this is a bad sign for love relationships. If you just want to be his friend, this may not be a problem, but if you want to be a lover, you better trust your hunches, find another man who’s interested to the opposite sex.

6. He makes you pay the bill
In this modern era, it’s normal if a woman wants to pay the bill, but if he who invites you to go out, it means that he is the one who has responsible for the dating, including paying the dinner bill. This is not just about money, but this is responsibility issues.

7. He tries to kiss you with little bit forcing
After the unpleasant dating was over, he still tries to kiss you with little bit forcing. If you really don’t want it, don’t hesitate to leave him and close the door immediately.

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It must be really tiring if after years of dating he never gives certainty about the relationship. He never mention about the engagement or marriage. You start to feel restless and wish that he could make up his mind immediately. But is it effective to give him an ultimatum or deadline?

Usually there are two benchmarks that make a woman wants to marry soon, they are ‘Biological clock and Sociological clock’. The first is a biological condition of woman’s body associated with female infertility. Woman wants to marry when her body is still productive and healthy enough to have a child, usually it’s between 27 till 35 years old. The second is a certain age that according to society is ready to get married; every culture has a different view about the limit of age.

If indeed you are tired to make adventures in love and want to get married soon, you better say it honestly to your couple. Invite him to discuss about the future of relationship, don’t hesitate to say what you wish, because it is for the goodness between you and him.

For the first step, you can ask about his future plans for the next few years, if he only mentions about his career or other personal desires without saying about his desire to have a family, it’s possible if your boyfriend is not ready to get married.

You could also ask about the reason why he is reluctant to get married. Don’t easily believe if he says that he hasn’t settled enough in financially or he is waiting for the right moment. Because the problem could be deeper than that, maybe he is not sure that you are the right woman who will accompany him for the rest of his life, he is afraid if he can’t flirt with other women anymore, or maybe he has a ‘peter pan complex syndrome’ where he always avoids responsibility and wants to be free from any liability.

The next step is to ask yourself whether you are ready to run a relationship which doesn’t go to anywhere aka it’s complicated. A relationship can work well if both of you don’t have any problem with making commitment.

So the next question is … is it effective to give him ultimatum?

Before you decide to give him an ultimatum, you should ask yourself whether you are ready to accept the worst consequences of your ultimatum. Each ultimatum has two possibilities, he will propose you as soon as possible, or he will leave you and decide to break the relationship.

If you finally decide to give him an ultimatum, you have to be firm in applying your words. Give him time to think, but don’t forget to give a time limit when he should give a decision. Don’t give him an ultimatum over and over again but in fact you are not ready to accept the consequences. He will realize that you are just bluffing and he will underestimate you.

If the time is up and he couldn’t give a straight answer, you don’t need to be afraid and hesitate to end the relationship. You should try other opportunity and find another man who’s willing to marry you. Every person has a right to get the best in life.

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Breakup is painful, especially if your boyfriend who decides to breakup from you first, this following thing is the signs if a man wants to breakup the relationship:

1. Away from you physically and emotionally

He reduces the frequency of meetings with you. Beforehand he used to meet you almost every day, but then the meeting frequency starts to reduce, it becomes once a week, once in two weeks, once in three weeks, once a month, and finally it’s hard for you to meet him.

He always has a reason to avoid you, such as having an important meeting in the office, accompanying his clients, accompanying his mother for shopping, his car gets trouble etc, even if he finally agrees to meet with you, it’s because you have persuaded him for many times. He also avoids some routine activities that he used to do with you, such as go to cinema, go to gym together, or spend weekend together.

Emotionally away from you can be done in many ways, he may be right beside you, but you feel that his heart is far away from you. No more intimate and warm stare when you make eye contact with him, his tone sounds flat as if he is tired to talk with you, he acts passive like a sculpture without emotion, and he always avoids to talk about the future of relationship, such as about commitment, engagement, weddings etc, he will say “Could we talk about something else?”

2. Changing the routine activities

Each couple has routine activities every day, such as sending sms that contains of sweet words, sweet greeting in the morning like ‘Good morning babe!’, pick you up from the office, or have lunch together.
But now the routine activities begin to disappear, he never sends sms with sweet words, he prefers to hang out with his friends than having lunch with you, he never gives sweet greeting etc. If this happens, maybe he thinks that hanging out with his friends feels more interesting than to be with you.

3. The intimacy begins to fade away

Usually he doesn’t hesitate to show his love to you, such as hugging, kissing, or caressing your hair. But now he acts cold, he doesn’t hold your hand during a walk in the park, he doesn’t hug you when watching TV together, or he doesn’t kiss you when he meets you. This attitude shows that he is losing interest on you.

4. The frequency of fighting starts to change

He used to say his opinions, both of you often have different opinions and sometimes you are arguing each other. But now he suddenly changed, he often avoids the tense conversation and doesn’t want to argue, he often says “up to you!” This does not mean that he has changed to be a sweet kitten, maybe he is looking for the best way to breakup from you, and he doesn’t want to feel guilty by hurting you through a lot of fights.

If your boyfriend is a quiet person, maybe he will give contrary reaction. He will seek your faults; he makes small problems become bigger, even he often fights with you without any reason. He wants to be a jerk in your eyes, so he has a reason to walk away from you.

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1. He doesn’t hesitate to say ‘I love you’.
He doesn’t hesitate to say ‘I love you’, not only when he makes a date with you, but also in front of his friends and family.

2. He looks at you with admiration.
If you catch him looking at you for several times from across the room, and his eyes shining with full of admiration, it means that he loves you and admires your beauty.

3. He is not ashamed to show his love to you.
He shows his love in various ways, start from simple things in daily live, till romantic things that he creates special for you. For example: He buys your favorite food from work even though he is very tired, at weekend he doesn’t mind to make breakfast for you, or he makes a special card which says that he loves you so much.

4. He likes to spend holiday with you.
Although his friends ask him to hang-out during the holiday, but he prefers to spend the holiday only with you. Even if just sit back at home with you, or make travel plans together with you.

5. He always misses you.
He feels something is missing if he hasn’t contacted you. He will send you sms every day even just to say Hi! How are you? How is your day? Or What are you doing now? Even he feels happy just by listening your voice from the phone. There is no day without your presence in his life.

6. You can beat his hobby.
Beforehand he always spent his time by doing his hobby, such as fishing, gaming, Xbox, browsing etc. But now he prefers to spend time with you, or occasionally he invites you to try his hobby.

7. He likes to make surprise.
He likes to give an unexpected surprise, such as pick you up from the office without telling you first, helping you to solve a problem, or giving your favorite book. Maybe he doesn’t do something big, but he makes a clear effort to do something special for you. When man does something good for you without being asked, it means that he’s trying to attract your sympathy.

8. He tells about you to his friends.
You meet his friends for the first time, but surprisingly they already know about you, such as about your favorite movie, favorite foods, or other special things about you. There’s possibility that he has talked about you to his friends, he is addicted to talk about you. He is in love with you, so no wonder he always talks about you.

9. He enjoys doing the most ridiculous activity with you.
He loves to joke with you, playing your favorite game like a child, or using the same colored clothes with you. Maybe other people think that both of you are a silly couple, but this unusual activity could indicate that there is special chemistry between you and him.

10. He involves you in his future.
He always says “We” not “I”, and he talks about his future activity together with you, such as “We should do something fun in summer holiday, next year”. Maybe he doesn’t mention about marriage or engagement, but he’s thinking about something in long term and he involves you in it.

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